The things you never see........

It all began with the sharing of some wonderful news for our family!

Then came....
The Accusations!
The Judgments!
The Hateful and hurtful comments!
The criticism of our family, our Faith, our values and our family size!
Our supposed lack of contentedness with where we are now!
The assertions based on....well....... we can't work it out really.

Where does it come from?
Why would they act that way?

They know so little about us. They know nothing of the years we have been gone from anything resembling a close relationship that may have been a product of the past.
They know nothing of our own hardships that we have endured over the last years.
The traumas we have suffered, the financial struggles, the choices we have made when we had none to choose from, the separations and how that has affected each one of us, the heartbreak of medical problems.
They know nothing of these events. They have chosen time and again to not be part of our lives, they know not how these situations have affected us...... and yet they judge!

They judge our lives based on their own perceptions of us, based  on their own responses to how they think we should live our lives, rather than through the eyes of love, rather than through the eyes of Jesus who truly does  know our thoughts our motives and our hearts.

In fact it all brings back to mind the time we shared other good news and were summarily treated with spite, vindictiveness and malice.
Something I have a hard time understanding. The level of commitment to such negative feelings is beyond my power of comprehension.

And it leads me to wonder how I/we react when we see people with whom we know even just by sight in our own lives, let alone on a more personal or intimate relationship.
What I mean is - when I see that lady at the shop who never seems to smile, that man at church who always has a kind word or action for others.
Is what I see an indication of their lives and how good or bad it is? And does this influence how I think of them and, yes, even the way I treat them.
Do I judge based on my own assertions of what I imagine their life must be like simply from my very slight observations of them and they way they look and act?
Do I dare to presume I know their troubles or good times and then think I am justified in my treatment of them in a certain way?
Do I treat them as I would want to be treated?

Or is it that some people will always see the good in others, will always try to help, will quickly ask forgiveness for a wrong committed and look for an opportunity to 'go the extra mile' for another in need.
While others will ALWAYS see the reasons why it is unfair that someone else has that house, that opportunity, that relationship or any other thing that their own life is lacking.

Because frankly we only ever see part of the story. Even with very close friends or family they can not know all the ins and outs that go on in our lives and more importantly in our HEARTS.

You see God has a plan for each one of us and he gives us challenges that are for each one of us alone.
How dare we suggest that just because we only see the outward appearance of a seemingly content and gracious person that obviously they have not had to deal with any problems in their lives.

HOW WRONG YOU ARE!

What might be a major struggle for them may be only a slight discomfort to you!
What may be a daily battle with an 'opportunity' does not even come into your horizon!
The things we see are not everything. What we behold as we look at someone is but a section of who each person fully is and but a fraction of their complete  lives.

To judge others by what we see of their lives, and the things we THINK we see and THINK we know is entirely wrong.
You can never understand all the emotional, physical and mental stress that others have been through - unless you have been through the exact same thing with the exact same set of circumstances they have.
Even if they lay it all out on the table, visible for all to see, you can not see or feel the intensity of the internal struggles or emotions that go along with a life and a persons particular circumstances.

However, hopefully we can all relate a little to an other's plight so we can be there to support, encourage, uplift and pray with those we have been blessed to know in these circumstances.
For it is a blessing God has opened up to us, if we find ourselves in this circumstance. An opportunity to give of ourselves that will ultimately be a blessing to others BUT to us as well - But only if you grasp the opportunity to be that someone.

So next time you see someone who seems to have it all together or even someone who looks like they do need a hand, why not look at them through the eyes of Love and ask......
What would Jesus Do?

Blessings to you and your homes,
 

A Morning Routine!

A morning routine is something I think is vital in our home!
We actually have a few parts of a morning routine but the one I think is the most important is our Breakfast  morning routine.
We have over the years not been consistent with our breakfast routine BUT when we are the benefits are evident in the way our days proceed are well worth the effort.
Sadly there have been times when we have not participated in this morning routine and I feel when we don't we have a  lack of family closeness. The same thing if we miss our  family time of an evening routine too.

The main part of this is to actually sit down to breakfast together as a family or if Daddy is already at work with Mummy and the children.
I must admit this was a lot easier when we were not grain free as the staple breakfast menu was usually cooked porridge withe warm drinks even in the summer! If we did not have porridge we had boxed cereal.

This actually made the process easier as we could have it all ready together and sit together.

However we still mostly try to do this, even as we are trying to cook a hot breakfast or have smoothies.
One of the essentials in having a clean start with this routine is to set the table the night before- complete with the books.
This allows for a quicker start without scrabbling for plates, mugs and other bits n pieces for breakfast.

As we are almost at the end of the meal that is when we start THE BOOKS!

The books you ask? Oh yes this is one of the most important parts of the routine.

At this point I start to read from the books~
*The first being from one of our Children's Bible Story books. Our current one is My Big Book of Catholic Bible Stories.
*Next I read about the Saint of the Day from The Catholic Parent Book of Feasts or if no saint is in this book from The One Year Book  of Saints
*Our Next book is The Book of Virtues or The Moral Compass mostly or I have used other books in the past both Catholic based or uplifting Christian
* We also use Our 24 Family Ways, (although ours is a first edition and has a flip top stand to place on the table) as a guide for family behaviour and expectations.
* After this one of the children will pray for our day, bringing family as well as private concerns and petitions to The Lord, then we say our Grace after Meals and go off to the next part of our day......Chores.

This I believe truly sets the tone for our day together as a family!

Blessings to you and your homes,
 

Children at church....

Some time ago I read an article about the distraction that little children are at Mass to others if they make a noise or cause others to lose concentration and therefore should be taken to the 'cry room' or that even parents should attend two different Mass' so as not to have children interfere with the reverence and quiet of others reflections during Holy Mass......
As this line of thinking is abhorrent me I felt I needed to respond to it.
Below is what I wrote with some more additions as I have had more time to think about this issue.

As a mother of 12 children from young adult to under 1 I find the whole debate about children at Mass irritating.
Children belong with parents and parents belong at Mass together, not separately but as a family. I have on only a handful of occasions taken one of our children out during Mass.
I refuse to take them out if our babies babble, or chat or smile at the granny behind us.
 If the baby starts to cry I will breast feed that baby for comfort.
If the baby still won't settle I pass the child to my husband or to an older sibling. If the baby still does not settle I will walk to the side of the church, this is usually enough of a distraction and then I go back to our pew.

I rarely go outside and we have never attended a Church that had a cry room. If we had I would be a contentious objector ,because I believe we are at Mass, all of us together.
Just for your information I also object to children's liturgy as well for the same reason.
The family attends Mass together. It is important and as such receives due reverence.
We have always attended Mass in our Church clothes too. These are special and dressy and once again shows this is not an everyday event, this is special . We always sit in the front pew (or two) so the children can see what is happening. I believe this gives them a focus.

As for the controversial view of taking snacks and drinks,we never take food or drink as it is a distraction to everyone, children and parents alike. I also maintain that Mass is only 1 hour long, I don't think little ones will starve during this time, so it is purely a distraction tactic which I don't think is a long term good idea.
Having said that we do allow a special teddy if the child is attached or a small hand held 'friend' or a car for our boys. Sometimes we have allowed the little St Joseph books, but only one as this can lead to simply flicking from one book to another and thus can lead to unwanted 'wiggling'

Our middle boys are altar boys and we have had many comments on how their reverence helps the person concerned stay focused.
You may wonder where did this come from- them understanding that Mass is special, was it from being inside the church at Mass or from being able to go outside (or cry room) as soon as they made a noise. Children are very smart they will work that out pretty soon that if they make a noise  and noise is not appreciated that  you get to leave and go somewhere more fun.

Our children are I think pretty good at church, our younger ones are mostly too, and yes we have a few 'special needs' children, which makes it a challenge.
What is our protocol for dealing with ' the wiggles?'  Our focus has been to cuddle and separate any child or children who need a little extra care during Mass. Or I might point out what the priest is doing or point to the  statues or Mary and Jesus, something to bring their little minds  back to the reason we are here.

Finally, I believe because we had decided that we would have our children with us during church that we refused to let any of those stares or comments stop us from keeping our children with us during this most important time.

Of course  our children have learnt appropriate behaviour as they went along. We get frequent comments on our children's behaviour BUT that has taken work and has not been achieved over night.
In fact I am sure our younger ones emulate the older children's behaviour, who were the ones we actually had to train. This does not mean they are ALWAYS perfect. They do have off days as do we and so then we just go back to the basics that we have held on to all these years.

One thing we have never done is to let the children run around the church. They stay within the pew.
I remember a few parishes where we were given advice as younger parents about 'letting our children run around the church so they feel comfortable here'.
For us it never seemed the right choice, we are not at at playground, we are not at a social event this is church and it requires a different set of rules and standards.
Higher standards than we would for everyday events for this is not an everyday event ( well it can be but you know what I mean) it is special and we are honoured to be able to participate and should be thankful for the opportunity and act appropriately.

So apart from the special cuddle toy we don't allow them play things, colouring books etc, either - this is not entertainment this is Mass. Of course we have had slightly older children get to the stage that says 'this is boring' and we tell them 'this is special and you are not here to be entertained.'
Do they get it? Well I think so, they certainly 'get' the fact that this is our standard and we are not negotiating.
I once knew a family that allowed their daughter to take her knitting to church because she was bored!
What does this tell the child? That it isn't important and you can just be here without 'being here at all.'
Not really what I think attending mass is all about.
For heavens sake it is such a small amount of time really.
Do remember though that little children don't always have a clear idea of time and so can't work out how much longer mass will take, our 6 year old still asks how many more songs before we finish. This gives him a focus and something to work too, but he knows the routine and respects it too.

I also compare this time and the expectations to what you would expect your child to do at school. Would you allow your child to run around and eat and drink while a teacher was trying to teach them?
No you would expect them to pay attention for that amount of time!
'So why not expect the same amount of attention for the most important part of our child's education - their faith.

So I would just say to any new parents DO NOT be intimidated by those who would ask you to leave. Stand up for you and your child's rights. Attend as a FAMILY. None of this going to separate Mass' to keep the little ones under control, so others don't get distracted.
Be gentle but firm in your response to children and babies behaviour but remember they are children and not perfect, oops neither are we.
However, give your children the gift of Mass as a special event in their lives that we attend as a family because God gave us families to learn and grow in and that is our responsibility as Godly parents.

As an aside- from personal experience I would like to say that I am more distracted by those teens and adults (who actually come) who are dressed immodestly and those who show little respect in the way they take Communion.
Not to mention all the people who chat before and after mass.
We have also been very distracted after confession as we are praying, that people show so little respect for those preparing for Mass and chat so liberally and loudly.
Should not this be a bigger distraction than children who are still learning the importance and specialness of attending Mass, with their parents as guides and role models.

Patience, humbleness and gentleness is what is needed for our children as they come to know and love the beauty of this Sacrament.

And for all those who pass judgement on families with young children at Mass I would like to ask them 'where are their own children and grandchildren?'
Because they are not at Mass either. Perhaps they thought they would be better off not coming because they never understood the significance of Mass and felt as if they were a burden or not worthy of teaching the significance of  proper behaviour and so just shunted off to the cry-room or outside where they would not bother those more holy then they.

Please welcome the little children as Jesus would. Help them and train them with love, respect, patience  and gentleness so they too can know the wonder of Holy Mass.


Blessings to you and your homes,
  

A Childs Verse

 Quite a number of years ago,in fact when Eden was a baby, she was given a cross stitch with this verse on it~

"God bless this child with gentle kindness

Guide this child with tender love

Show this child the way of brightness

Fill this little heart with love"

Since this the younger children have also received a handmade cross stitch by the same dear friend, each with a beautiful picture cross stitched as well.

I think it is a beautiful verse and one to remember as a mummy as well.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Work and Gender Roles

During the week we had cause to need to move firewood from one storage area within the house to  a different fireplace. As everyone else was involved in another task I asked Moran, Myffwyn and Corbyn to take some to the new area. As this was the beginning of the day I asked the girls to put on their aprons to keep their clothes relatively clean. Arwen wanted hers on even though she was still in her pajamas.

Now I know that little children want to be involved in every aspect of home life. They want to do significant jobs, to be important within the structure of the family and yet I am still amazed each time the youngest, in this case Arwen, is so keen to be involved in the activity.

This is not a new aspect for Arwen and I guess I focus more on her as she is our littlest able bodied person. Arwen is not required to do any particular chores within our family. However she is ALWAYS wanting to help and this little wood moving episode reminded me of a similar one last year when she was only one.

As wood chopping and gathering tends to be a very male orientated chore and has been in our home our boys are generally the ones who are assigned to it. They chainsaw, chop, stack and deliver. This is usually Saxon's very special job now with the older boys doing other things, one he really loves, well not exactly.

However our older girls ~ Autumn, Eden and Vellvin are all capable of doing the wood (except for the chainsawing) and have done on quite a few occasions. In fact they actually really like it. And I imagine them as Milly from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at the beginning of the movie.

I cannot see anything that our girls would not be able to handle in a more pioneer type setting and while  we do encourage the traditional roles of male and female and the type of work that they do we by no means not accept the excuse that because of gender the person cannot do the work.

Our boys are part of our household routine and have been from a young age. They can clean and cook (some more ably than others) and do basic sewing. Rogan even can do more accomplished sewing and craft, but this is a choice of his own.

We do tend to do lots of the family chores together and even have a buddy system at times of older and younger child, regardless of gender. There is no reason in my estimation for a young man to stand around loafing in the kitchen and watching his sisters, mother, or any female wash up and clean up the mess simply because it is supposedly 'womens work'. This does not cut the mustard with me and I will never accept the excuse "I don't know how to do it from anyone- this is answered with a quick 'well now is the perfect opportunity to learn' or the other favourite excuse for non participation in a job is 'I don't know how to do it' the come back to this one is 'Well now you have a chance to learn how to.......'
Also realising that neither the work a man is generally capable of and the work a women generally has to do does not make one more important or dominant in the relationship or

The role of men and women is different. We have different 'hard-wiring.' We have different 'heart-wiring' that gives the women a different perspective on situations than men.

We have always encouraged our young boys to be young gentlemen. Many is the time I asked our older boys to carry out the washing to the line for me, not because I was unable to carry the load but to allow them the opportunity to learn the value of being a strong man, a provider and nurturer. Opening and closing doors and walking on the curb side of the street are a few of the basics we have taught our boys. This I think helps them to relish the role of strong worker and provider that young men need to have today in society. This helps them to realise that a man is a servant to those he loves.....as Christ was a servant to his followers.

Our girls are encouraged to be feminine in all things, which does not necessarily require frills and lace, it is a femininity of the heart. Our girls can look after themselves quite well but they allow the men and boys in their lives to nurture them as is their role. They have great homemaking skills but they can do many of the outdoor work typically done by the males in our home. Our girls have done their share of building work when we were building, not because they felt the need to prove themselves equal to the men folk, BUT because we  are family and we all chip in where needed to get the job done.

The heart issue of gender roles is the important aspect to concentrate on.
Men should love, nurture,  protect and provide for the women, and girls in their lives. However they should know how to provide for themselves if this situation should occur for them ever.
Women and girls need to nurture the men and children in their lives and realistically this usually happens within the home environment for which they need to be prepared too.

In our society we need to encourage our children in the roles and responsibilities that they will be needing as they grow to maturity and give them the skills to help them achieve this. They will receive little encouragement from mainstream society on this one. So it is up to us to really continually uplift and uphold these ideals ourselves.

I think that it is vitally important to state for the record that although God created men and women different and with different roles to fulfill.......God created them equal in value and importance. However it also needs to be said that  both men and women have a unique and important  role that when worked together is the backbone of the family, and the family is the backbone of our society.

So lets embrace our roles as men and women, rejoice in the differences and encourage one another in the strengths so we can all do to the best of our ability the work we have been blessed to do.

Blessings to you and your homes,

The Desires of My Heart

The Desires of my Heart:

They seem so simple when I put them to paper.
They have been my desires for years past and I pray for many years to come.

I am sure they are the desires of many other women of my acquaintance, those of a kindred spirit kind.

To love and serve my God, to share my faith with others that they may love and serve God.
To love and treasure my husband, the one God intended for me, whom I have had the pleasure of being married to for over 24 years.
To love and cherish each one of the special blessings, our children, that God has given us to raise for His service and glory.
To create within our home a place of beauty and peace,  a sanctuary for all who enter within, not just our family, but for any whom we are gifted by their presence.
Within our home to educate our children - not just academically for their future but for their eternal futures. Teaching the gifts of hospitality and care as mirrored by my own life.
To share our lives in a spirit of love and harmony with one another that we can help one another to grow and be up lifted
To develop and use the gifts that God has given each one of us and to encourage and use these gifts for pleasure and for service of others.

And yet as much as I treasure these desires, knowing they are placed upon my heart by a loving Father, I know I do not live up to them daily.

I know also that it is the daily living of these that is so important, and once again it is the daily living of these desires in which I fail.

I become distracted by my own 'temporary desires' that do not conform with my heart desires and I focus on these instead of what I know gives me more lasting joy and reward.

These temporary desires come and go depending on how much I listen to my 'heart desires' and I know I need to give them more focus now, at this moment, and not be distracted.

I pray that I have the humility to pray, the wisdom to listen for answers and the courage to follow and thus achieving The  Desires of My Heart.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Entwining LACE

 Have you ever watched LACE being made? It is a process of twisting and twining around and around that creates a pattern as it is worked, continuing on until it is a finished product.

Our lives I think are like that lace we entwine our lives around a central theme or love for me this is God and my faith followed by my family and friends.

Daily we entwine our lives continuaiously around those we know personally or online or through conections with other people (hearsay).

What a blessings we have when our lives  become LACY with good firends and kindred spirits. However LACE can be a beautiful working of art that produces a pattern that is pleasing to the eye and touch. How I want to creat LACE like this.

On the other hand not all LACE is beautiful I am sure some of you ahve seen  LACE that is rotting and falling apart, perhaps it  was once beautiful and has fallen into disprepair due to neglect or dispair.
Or perhaps the maker was one who never really appreciated the beauty of the LACE and so sadly was not concerned with the final outcome.

How honoured and blessed I have been to be entwined in the lives of some beautiful LACEY women.

Our beautiful Trish sent to us the gift pictured above for our precious Trahaearn's baptism.

I see the LACE in this gift as my life is touched by her generosity and care. So too has my life become more LACY by so many other beautiful women who have their lives entwined with mine and for this I am very grateful.

So to be involved with some beautiful LACY women based on Philippians 4:8
Whatever is..LLovely, Admirable, Cheerfuland Encouraging. ~ LACE

Blessings to you and your homes,

Making Time!

As I was busy doing other things today our dear Myffwyn came up to me gave me a bi hug and said 'can you do something  with me please?'
Well as I just basked in the love I felt from this special little girl I said to her  "what would you like to do?" but still thinking of the many chores and activities still to be completed, and the fact I had just gotten Trahaearn to sleep and thus had some 'clear time' so to speak.

However I looked into those loving and trusting eyes as she answered "can you do some drawing with me....some chalk drawing' and knew that this was one of those moments I am always talking about- those family moments that build memories and I knew I would draw with her.

I also knew that my drawings would not be great, in fact my drawings are barely passable, but I also knew Myffy would love them because we had done them together and this was more important than  all the other things that NEEDED doing. What really needed doing was the bonding time with my  little girl.

 The wonderful advantage of doing creative activities with one child is that I know that the other children benefit from this. As soon as Moran and Corbyn saw us drawing together they decided it was much more fun than what they had been playing previously.

Our Playground - with all the family

 The interesting aspect of this was the way they both chose chalk. Corbyn would only use blue and green because pink is a girl colour and he couldn't use it AT ALL. Moran chose the pink colour and used it a lot because she preferred it to the others. They did manage to use half the board each, for a time anyway, and drew their own pictures rather than the joint effort Myffy and I were doing.

The drawing session lasted only about 30 mins but at the end of that time I was thrilled that Myffy was so happy to have spent that time with me and after we packed up the chalk and the boards she held my hand as we went off to tend to the other mundane tasks, and me how did I feel now, well my smile said it all I think.

I was one happy mummy!!

Blessings to you and your homes,

The String Of Pearls..............

I read this today from a friends Facebook page and was very touched by the story. I hope you are blessed as well ♥

The String of Pearls:

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

'Oh mommy please, mommy. Can I have them? Please, mommy, please?'

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

'A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.'

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, 'Do you love me?'

'Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls.'

'Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite.'

'That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night.' And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, 'Do you love me?'

'Daddy, you know I love you.'

'Then give me your pearls.'

'Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll.. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper.'

'That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you.'

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

'What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?'

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, 'Here, daddy; this is for you.'

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Nurturing for New Mums

I am pondering today (and have been for a week or more) the idea of 'Nurturing New Mums,' not just mum's for the first time but any mother who has given birth to a precious new baby.

I am also wondering if you have experienced that time of nurturing  for an extended period of time?

My assumption would be NO, unless you belong to a few select communities that promote this type of 'luxury' for mums, or is it a luxury at all but a necessity that is overlooked in most western style societies today.

'Why is it that we do not promote the nurturing of new mums in our society?
What is it about our society that has caused this to happen?
Have you ever wondered about this?

To be honest it has only been the last few years that I even wondered about this and it was only through the writings of some of my orthodox friends that this even came to my attention

Obviously after all the years of giving birth, nearly 22, I was surprised to find a different perspective on the  nurturing not only of the newborn baby  but also the new mum as well.
I believe that it is not only the Orthodox Church that promotes this tradition but some other non western cultures as well.

After reading Ginny's post on her first week after the birth of her little boy 
I have been thinking on her remarks on staying in bed for a week after the birth of her little boy and the recommendation by her midwife that two weeks is the recommendation for rest and recuperation of the body and mind.

Now I have never in all my recovery from giving birth EVER had this recommended to me and even when I had a Cesarean with Autumn nearly 18 years ago the emphasis was on getting up and getting moving and even then I went home after 5 days but with the precaution not to lift anything heavy for 6 weeks.

Now I do understand the theory of the getting up for the cesarean and yes I am thankful I was able to recover form this easily but what I am talking about goes beyond the healing of scar tissue to the very real idea behind rest and recuperation.

What I have experienced is that most hospitals are  very keen to get you feeling ready to go home and get on with your life. Now I have never been turned out of a hospital but the rest period was a very brief idea that was to happen before you went home or it you went home early (as I have done sometimes) that the nominal saying of 'get some rest' was not really an idea but more a thought of- maybe if you can manage it.

We also in our society are expected to be able to, now we have had the baby, to resume our life much as it was before the baby arrived. That is: get back into our routine as quickly as possible to allow our lives to return to the habit of normal more quickly, after all the baby can just adjust to our lifestyle! This is encouraged by society as women are 'persuaded' to rejoin the workforce as soon as possible and are aided in this by those 'perfect day care places'
Our society expects women to rejoin into it and to not be soft and needy but to be that superwoman that every one knows doesn't exist but society would like to see on a daily basis.

I have in the past been most intrigued by the Orthodox friends who have the tradition of 40 days of rest and help in the home after giving births.
It seems to me that the close ties within the Church itself and the  tradition of of this allows  a general acceptance of the need for the time for complete and re assured recuperation of the mother and baby, not to mention the time devoted to developing a close and lasting relationship within the family to the newest little soul entrusted to the care of this family.

My research on this topic also seems to confirm the fact that in many non western cultures the length of the after birth time varies. However  the idea of a 40-day recovery period is common in many non-Western cultures. In almost all non-Western societies, 40 days after birth is seen as necessary for recuperation.
Among most non-Western cultures, family members (especially female relatives) provide strong social support, help new mothers at home during that period. This means the new mother's activities are strictly limited, and her needs are taken care of by (typically) female relatives and midwives

During this 40-day period, someone comes to the house or stays with the new mother to take care of the baby, the house, and the other children, so that "all new mothers have to do is rest"

Something I did take notice of was the thought that women's status has been considered relatively higher in Western cultures than in non-Western cultures, yet strangely enough  less recognition seems to be given to new mothers in the western society. The gifts and celebrations are centered around the baby rather than the mother (e.g., baby showers, christenings, visits from friends and relatives to see the baby)

Now don't get me wrong here, I love that people are interested in our baby and want to see this precious gift but what I am focusing on here is the almost universal idea that for a period of time (seemingly about 40 days)  after birth that a new mother really should be encouraged to rest and bond with  the new baby not be EXPECTED to do much else.


I am even taking a gamble here and stating that the 'traditional' 6 week check up with the doctor for both mother and baby actually is the only left over product of this traditional time after birth that has come into our modern society from more 'ancient or old fashioned times!'

So how ow can we achieve this in our more modern society?

Sadly, I think that we cannot unless we are surrounded by a community that supports this and the values we hold in regards to family support.

In our very mobile society where people move far from the traditional support of the extended family, assuming the expended family promote this idea anyway, unless you are blessed to have a very active church community or a community of like minded persons I cannot see many of us benefiting from this very much needed time and bonding with our babies.

However perhaps this can be a way for us to open new pathways for others as we come into contact with them. If we look for opportunities to bless other new mums with some of the 'services' of the 40 day recovery period.
Ideas like:
~ cooking some meals for the family, perhaps even getting some other people involved on a roster for this for a week or more even!
~ doing some shopping for necessary supplies
~ doing some housework or cooking at the new mums home
~ if there are other children playing with them or bringing over your own children to play with them (don't forget to tidy up the mess though)
~ don't for get to bring some chocolate and a great movie or book for the resting mummy to fill some time with or some craft to do together  (just joking or maybe it is a great idea)
~ anything else you can come up with ( it is late and my brain is not working, perhaps I should rest too)

I actually think this is one of the saddest facts from our modern society, well actually when you think about it, it really is just another element of the fact that the family culture is not supported in modern society. The old fashioned community and family that helps one another in all aspects of family life ~ the good, the bad and the ugly, just isn't happening for most of our society.

Perhaps though as we contemplate the value of the family, and as we teach and help our own children grow and they have families of their own, WE can be the catalyst of change and nurture these new mums in this very time honoured and wonderful vocation right from day one in this time honoured tradition!

Just a little note: I am not saying 'woe is me' in this post. I really do think it a would be a benefit to so many families if this were a more time honoured practice for all mothers after the birth of a baby.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Extra LACE........

Dear Friends,
Do you know I just LOVE my LACE posts!!
I love thinking on the meaning of LACE and the criteria behind Trish's ideas on this.

Philippians 4:8 Whatever is..Lovely. Admirable. Cheerful. Encouraging. ~ LACE

A while ago I posted on the beauty and yet the strength that we have as women and in our vocations.

I was sharing my thoughts on the beauty we have in our most everyday activities
And yet while LACE can be functional and beautiful it is at the same time optional to many and a bit of an extra.

Does that mean we cannot have these extras in our lives? I don't think so we can be uplifted by these extras and be thankful for them as they come in to our lives. Mostly that means that we have to wait for the little extra something to be blessed by it and sometimes those waits are a long time in between and even though we love and nurture our roles as wives, mothers and home makers, we know intrinsically that the extra LACE is a bonus and to be valued because of it.

Making time for these extra LACE activities in our lives is important too.
I know in my own life if I have no time for 'LACE and frills' I tend to not be grateful and thankful for the many blessings in my life.
What constitutes as LACE?

Well for all of us it can be different, but a basic I believe is looking for the beauty in the surroundings we have in our immediate lives. Bing watchful and aware of the environment in which God has placed us to live out our lives.

For me it also means taking time to play and create, not only with our precious children but to play and create on my own too.

Some times we feel guilty for taking this time to our selves after all there is so much to be done in our homes and lives. We have family to feed, a home to manage and our own personal devotions to work on not to mention the man of the house to love and nurture as well.

How can we possibly justify spending time on our selves?
I once when traveling on a plane with our baby was told in case of crash to put my own  life jacket on first, so I am would be to help the baby.
In some ways we are like those in an airplane crash we do need to take the time to put on our own life jacket  so to speak in order to minister to those around us.

So today I would like to share the extra LACE I received to day : the flowers from ,my dear husband and the beautiful sunset we had this evening

May your day be filled with all the extra LACE you can find !!

Blessings to you and your homes,

Patience v's Waiting

Patience is such a wonderful virtue isn't it?

Well I guess it does depend on your perspective.
Sometimes I think I am a very patient person and at other times I KNOW I am not.

Obviously waiting for this new little dumpling to arrive has been a continued effort in patience for me. However I find  that as I am able to overcome the waiting most days the fact some of those those dearest to me, the children are even less patient than I.

After my Dr visit yesterday and the news that we had been expecting (due to a previous Dr on Monday) that we would be meeting our little one on Friday (today if he or she had not arrived) the news of this new date 23rd May was quite unsettling to the children especially.

So my pondering thoughts on this and patience is: that even if we ourselves can be patient it is often harder for those around  us who are anticipating  a much looked forward event that this can then lead to anxiety and impatience. Which in turn can re-alter our own perspective.

Also I think there is a difference between waiting and waiting patiently!!!

Sometimes I also think this is not just the virtue of patience but the value we have placed on the thing we are waiting for.

The more intensly you desire the event/ item to arrive the more store you place upon this. This is where it is harder to have faith that God is control of all situations and that at the right time all will happen.

It is these situations that can be so devestating when it doen't happen when we are expecting it to. Over the last couple of years we have experienced this over and over, and it is hard not to become despondent when a new opportunity arrises and then does not progress to completion.

Patience is an everyday life goal, not daily even sometimes but hourly.

I know that it is the more these event/items that I have more trouble with.

I think over the years I have become more patient with those everyday situations of dealing with children and the life style we have. The little things I can give to God to help me with.

It is the major events in our lives I have trouble handing over, usually because I want them so much, not just for me but for our family as well.

So for the last few days of this pregnancy I will try to leave it in God's hands and be faithful to that, and in my own way help those special anxious brothers and sisters to be  reach that place too.

Blessings to you and your homes,

Did you Take MY IDEA???

Seriously I have had this post  in drafts since prior to Christmas 2009 but as our family is going through another creativity burst with the children and I learning new and varied skills I thought it would be appropriate to post it now.

I have continued to mull over this post on and off, wondering what I would say and how I  would present these ideas.

I hope as I write these thoughts out that I can express my thoughts clearly without too much rambling......so be forewarned this may be long.

For those of you who have visited here before you wold well know that Our Home is a home where we choose to have many traditions and family based activities, where we try to encourage creativity and expressions of individual interests.

What may surprise some of you is that I grew up in a home with virtually NO traditions at all.
Sure we went to Church on Sunday, we celebrated Christmas and Easter and Birthdays up to a point, but there were no special activities or family times involved with these.

Our Christmas dinner was a baked dinner with a bought Christmas cake and bought custard. We never baked cookies or prepared anything during Advent and once Christmas day was over that was it. The same for Easter and Birthdays, the days came and went with a slightly different focus but....well you get the picture.

So, as Stephen and I began our Family we wanted to create a close family atmosphere that would continue to grow as our family grew and eventually grow out to their own families.

One of the first books I learnt about 'Creating a Home Atmospher' and, this was before Home Schooling, before computers and forums and blogs etc, so it was  when books provided the main inspirations for me was the book  The Spirit of Loveliness by Emily Barnes.

Even today I love looking through this book. It inspires my in my vocation and softens my outlook on the world. My edition has the old cover, of Emily herself in a softened background of her home.

I was not surrounded by expended family and friends who valued the creative side of homemaking and obviously the benefits of the Internet world were non existent that we have today.

It was this quote from her book that really I wanted to talk and expand upon as it had such an impact on how I viewed my own abilities to be creative even though my past had not encouraged this in my life.

"Creative is a God-given ability to take something ordinary and make it into something special. It is an openness to doing old things in new ways and a willingness to adapt other people's good ideas to suit our personal needs. And creativity is an ability we all possess, although many of us keep it hidden in the deep corners of our lives.
Every single human being is creative. The creative spirit is part of our Heritage of the One who created all things. And nurturing our creativity is part of our responsibility as stewards of God's good gifts.
Creativity is so much more than "arts and crafts." It is a way of seeing, a willingness to see wonderful possibilities in something unformed or ordinary or even ugly."

So why the big buildup.

Well my question is.. When does an idea you have seen or read or heard about from somewhere else become your own?

I know in the blogging world most of us are very careful to link to those ideas we get from other blogs. We even link to books we have read or talk about the people who gave us ideas. All this is good and I believe necessary to give credit where it is due. however my question is after having done this when does this idea cease to be someone elses and become my own.

Is it when I have used it a number of times? Is it when I change it to suit my own family or life situation? Or does it never become mine and I must always refer to it as .........'s idea.

Why am I making a big deal out of this you may ask?

Well as I explained many of the ideas I have had for our family has been gleaned elsewhere.

As I began thinking about this I could see quite clearly that some of the "trademarks" that I have  gotten from the Emily Barnes Books I have, not just the one above.

Or any of the other books I bought years ago on 'Creating Family memories.'

I have used them so long that it wasn't until I though about it that I recognised that I have some of these 'trademarks' from these sources. I have called these ideas my own for many years also as I took them on board.

I think it is a bit like a favourite family recipe. Was it someone else's originally or did you make it up? Did great granny pass it on but you have modified it to suit your own taste and style....is it still great grannies?

Now here is where you may disagree with me. I believe that once you introduce any of these creative ideas into your family after having acknowledged the source initially that you now can claim that idea as your own.

SHOCKING and OUTRAGEOUS YOU SAY!!

BUT is it! HOW can it not be you may I ask.

Let me try to explain my ideas~
First off many of the things I am talking about are usually Liturgical Year ideas or Homeschooling ones or even crafting ideas.

In following the Liturgical year most of us are trying to live our lives in harmony with the Church's calender. Filling our hearts, minds and souls with the fullness of our Heritage and imparting this onto our children so that they can also live their lives with the knowledge and love for our Lord and the Church he started on earth.

Many of us try to implement ways of making these days memorable for our families and our selves. We feast and we fast, we develop a love for certain Saints and we commemorate the most special of our Church's days, Sunday, Christmas and Easter.

Now many of you may be fortunate to have grown up with a cultural and traditional heritage that was passed down from family to family. You may have had a very rich culture that you were a part of during your life.

How blessed you are!!

And because of this you have many traditions and ideas you claim as your own, but following the claim above - that you have to create it completely on your won to actually own it I tend to disagree.

Now what I am suggesting is that they are no more yours than if I were to claim them (after acknowledgment of course) after having implemented them into my home.

My home is different to yours and my circumstances are different to yours so even though you and I may start with the same Idea it will be my own tradition and your own tradition. Each created to suit the individual families and the people within it.
So although we start with the same idea it will never be exactly the same.

Isn't that why we share our ideas any way?

Isn't that why we buy books on crafts, traditions and homeschooling ---so that we can use them and individualise this to our own families.
So why do we stress if someone else uses our ideas (once again after proper acknowledgment initially) and then adapt and use them for their own family, why do we get caught up in the MY MY MY idea thing.

I would suggest we take a look at this quote I love from  Anne Shirley who once said "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery " and use it to our own advantage.

I once had a friend who wanted to keep all the knowledge she had as her own. If someone used any of her ideas she was very quick to let everyone know it was from her the idea came and from HER background. No one could have any good ideas except what we were allowed to duplicate from her.
There was a sense of you can never be as creative as me!

Did this inspire others to try to develop their own talents. NO it did not! Did it make the rest of us feel that we had no creative ideas or style to share that others might like. Did it encourage us to search for those personal ideas that we could develop in our own lives.
Sadly no! And sadly this relationship also ended due to jealousy and envy.

I suggest that we are all creative and I would hate to think that the ideas I share would dis-encourage others as they thought that I was so much better than them.

I adore that as fellow bloggers we CAN recreate ideas that we find so useful or beautiful or fun into our own homes........and we can bring a measure of beauty that God intends us to have into our own lives.

If we share that idea we should be happy that others are inspired by that idea and that they can and would want to use and adapt it to suit their own situation.

I know that for many looking at what we can do  to improve our home life and make it more pleasant for our families we look to other people's  past family experiences, and perhaps for some of us to to bring into our homes new and rewarding experiences, I would like to remind all of us that we are creative because God created us so and that we all have the ability to see something and build on that idea to the benefit of all those we come into contact with.

Maybe not the same as others but in a new and original way for that particular person. Even though someone had already used it in that particular way it is new, it is creative for each and every person because as children of God we are all capable of using the gifts and talents we are given in the ways we see to bring beauty and truth and love into our homes.

Blessings to each and every one of you,

Love through Speech

I can't remember where I saw this poem below first but it is something I am so aware of each day.
The way I speak to those most special to me at each opportunity during the day is of paramont importance to me.

I know that what I say can often be missed by the way I say it, and that sometimes the more 'needed' rebuke, if spoken with a gentle and loving tone that cares for the realtionship and love of the person involved means that it is much more effective.

It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

“Come here?” I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here,” I said-

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grown by study and art

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you are mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words-

Keep it out of your voice.

Author Unknown

My prayer is to always to remember that ~ Love is a giving of my all and that means putting others first, not only in manner but in the way I present my love to them.
Love is a constant outpuring of my very essence to those I care about most.......how can I not want to do that more perfectly.

Lord help me each and every day to follow my heart in this manner!!


Blessings to you and your homes,

Motherhood is NOT for Wimps ♥

I know many of you are aware of my passion for the promotion of homemaking and motherhood and the role of those who choose to embrace this lifestyle and how we can encourage and inspire one another in this precious vocation.

What many of you may not know is that this was not the way I was raised or encouraged as a new wife and  homemaker. Certainly the desire to become parents while Stephen and I were 'financially non prepared' for a little one was not encouraged either.

However despite these obstacles I can honestly say we have never regretted the decisions we have  made in terms of family choices ...the fact we have and always will be being open to new life. In this decision   we have always acknowledged that our God has always provided for our needs through one way or another, although perhaps not in how we would have desired!

In our early years of learning some of the ideas we now take for granted I was blessed to be given some old magazines by a lady at church, who by the way was a grandmother by then.

 It was a great eye opener to find that we were not alone in our love and desire to create a 'family circle' that not only welcomed children but openly embraced the love and value  of family  as the core to our local community and then to the wider world.
In essence to create a 'domestic church' that would build up our children to be strong individuals who would support and embrace their Faith and live their lives with integrity and love.

Since that early time I have been a great fan of Above Rubies  getting their magazines when I could and now they have  a  Facebook Page as well to encourage still.
I admire Nancy Campbell and her devotion she has had  over the years to the promotion of motherhood.

I thank God always that He has brought these type of women into my life, through magazines, books and as becauset he internet has evolved,  to nurture and encourage me in this vocation because  I think for me my life would have been so empty of a great many blessings. 

This is a poem Nancy posted for Mothers day on Sunday.

I really love it!
The way it show how so many aspects of our role as nurturers and yet devoted workers to our vocation.

I pray you enjoy it too ♥

There are those who would spurn the vocation of

   mothers

And say of careers, it’s inferior to others,

I'll have to admit that it's not easy work,

It's relentless and from it you cannot shirk.

It takes all of your energy being a mother and wife,

Requiring daily commitment and a disciplined life,

It demands all your resources of patience and love,

Long-suffering and wisdom from the Father above.

It takes self-control and continual endurance,

It needs constant faith and great perseverance,

It means total sacrifice, forgetting your self,

Sometimes you think that you’re left on the shelf!

And what about time? It’s no longer yours,

It belongs to all those who come in your doors.

Claim your own rights? No, they're all gone too,

Like your right to sleep the whole night through!

It's not so easy to crawl into bed with a book

Or go off and dream in some quiet little nook.

It seems like you're totally losing your life

To be a good mother and a submissive wife.

But oh, faithful mother, please do not despair,

In God's perfect plan you do have a share,

To fulfil your destiny planned from creation

Which is to nurture children and BUILD A NATION!

You’re walking in the footsteps of Jesus your Lord

Who sacrificed all, His life He out-poured,

He didn't cling to His rights with selfish futility

He didn’t claim any privilege but walked in humility.

 He gave up His life to save millions of others,

This principle works in the lives of all mothers,

When you lose your own life you'll find it again,

A rewarding life, without guilt or shame.

So lift up your head, embrace your calling so high,

You're in God's perfect will, there’s no reason to

  sigh!

You may often feel worthless - don't listen to this lie,

Your influence goes higher than the clouds in the

   sky!

As you nurture and train your God-given seed,

As you sharpen these 'arrows' by word and by deed,

You shape the nation - you determine its course,

Your mothering’s not wasted, it’s a great mighty

 force!

As your children leave home and go into the world

The proof of your training will soon be unfurled

You’ll influence countries where you've never been,

And down the generations its effect will be seen.

Your work is so powerful, no wonder it's tough,

But God is behind you, He's the GOD WHO IS

 ENOUGH,

His strength and His wisdom He will give to you,

He stands by His promises which are totally true.

He'll always be with you right through to the end

As you follow His leading and deny the world's

 trend,

Each morning you wake, your strength He'll renew.

He'll fill your home with His presence and His

   blessed peace too.

Love from Nancy Campbell

 Blessings to you and your homes,

How Would I React....If?

HOW WOULD I REACT IF??

This is a thought I have often pondered as I go through my life and different challenges arise for me.
One of the times I usually wonder this is during Holy Week and we look at the last few days of Jesus life as he goes to the crucifixion.

How easy it seems to condemn those Jews who cried out "crucify him, crucify him" as they stand before Pilate. Now I know, that we also know some people did not call for this and others were influenced by the Sadducee's and Pharisee's to be one of the crowd.

It seems easy in hindsight to say I would be one of those who would stand up and defend Jesus, BUT in reality would I have?
Would I have seen what I am able to see so clearly now with all the ability of hindsight to help me?
Would I have, even if I had known had the courage to stand up for what I believed in, would I have drawn attention to my self by daring to stand up? Because let us not forget that it was a whole lot more cruel and hard a time to live in!

It is so easy to say I WOULD stand up for what I believe and I do think I would but how can I really know?
I think it is only going through the trials and temptations before us that we can really know how we would react in any given situation.

Today as we listened to the bible story of Doubting Thomas~
Now Thomas, one of the twelve, who is called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

    ²⁵The other disciples therefore said to him: We have seen the Lord. But he said to them: Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.

    ²⁶And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them. Jesus cometh, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said: Peace be to you.

    ²⁷Then he saith to Thomas: Put in thy finger hither, and see my hands; and bring hither thy hand, and put it into my side; and be not faithless, but believing.

    ²⁸Thomas answered, and said to him: My Lord, and my God.

    ²⁹Jesus saith to him: Because thou hast seen me, Thomas, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and have believed.

I again thought how easy it is to read this and say how foolish Thomas was not to believe. How could he doubt? He who knew Jesus, who walked and talked with Him and knew Him so intimately, how can he doubt?
But again I look into my own life and I see Thomas in all to many instances.

Again I ask How would I react...If?

When I was a young girl I still remember imagining in my mind a life far more exciting than mine. A life of action, adventure and being the heroine. Being the one who would save others and be recognised for these truly remarkable and brave actions.

In my mind it was real and vivid and I look back and think how great an imagination I had, and frankly still have.

I still love to read and watch on DVD the lives of not only great fictional characters but the lives of the saints and missionaries, and the way they did respond when asked to defend what they believed in.

There are so many wonderful stories out there (apart from the Bible) that I think can inspire us to live beyond what we think we can do. Books and movies that give us a glimpse of what a man or woman of character is like. These same characters real or imaginary, because I think a great fictional character can inspire as well, can help us prepare our hearts and souls with the virtues we need to be able to answer the question when asked-
How will I react....now.....in this situation.......

I want to be able to answer in the affirmative, that I will stand for what I believe in regardless of the cost. Will I be ready?
Well that depends on how I prepare myself doesn't it?

For me preparation means spending time reading my Bible, spending time in prayer, reading uplifting books and watching inspiring DVDs.

It means only opening my heart and mind to those things that uplift and encourage me. To say NO to those things I know do not fit the bill so to speak.
To say NO even to those things that while not being 'bad' for me by the same token do not allow me to give my best. For my time (as yours is too) is limited and I don't really have time to say YES to all the opportunities that present themselves to me.

I need to keep my focus on the Lord and what I know he has asked of me.....even when it means I will need to say NO to others, even if it means I have to resist some other seemingly great opportunities, even if it means I have to STAND ALONE.

And there it is the 'million dollar question' where the 'rubber meets the road'- can I do it?

I want to!   I hope so!   I pray I can!
I believe I can with faith in my Lord and the perseverance to endure!

And I pray you can too♥

Blessings to you and your homes,

Suffering Quote................

I just had to share the quote from this morning's sermon---

'Suffering is inevitable BUT misery is optional'
not a bad motto to live by.
We all have many sufferings that we have in our lives but how we deal with the suffering  is what   can impact or influence others.

Praying I can respond with joy and peace in my own life.

Have a blessed Sunday to all....

Blessings to you and your homes,